How Do You Continue Growing Between Therapy Sessions?

Expanding Self Energy Beyond the Therapy Room

One of the greatest privileges of being a psychotherapist is witnessing the profound shifts that occur when people reconnect with their authentic Self.

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), we call this Self Energy. This is the calm, compassionate, curious, courageous presence that naturally exists within each of us. From this place, we are less reactive, more centered, and better able to respond to life's challenges with wisdom rather than fear.

Often, clients leave a therapy session feeling grounded, hopeful, and deeply connected to themselves.

But then life happens. Much of the time we can tell that progress has been made because the same circumstances that caused a strong reaction occur again and you may say to yourself: “Oh, this is when I was supposed to react (get angry, sad, upset, anxious etc) but I’m not!”  This kind of change feels exciting and we want even more and ask ourselves: “How do I keep this going?!”

Or we may be disappointed when we discover yet another was we are activated over something else or almost re-burdened. This can feel frustrating to some who might say: “I thought I was over this?” or “it came back!”

We are “never done” because we are still alive!  That does not mean you have to be in therapy forever, but instead is a point instead to be curious about “what or who inside is getting activated” and a chance to come back to awareness of Self-Energy.

Self Is Not Something We Create

One of the beautiful principles of IFS is that Self isn't something we have to earn or manufacture. It is already within us.

Yet many of us have spent years—sometimes decades—living from parts of ourselves that developed to protect us from pain, rejection, fear, or uncertainty.

Those protective parts serve an important purpose, but when they take over, we can lose touch with the calm wisdom that has always been present beneath them.

Expanding Self Energy isn't about eliminating our parts.

It's about learning, over and over again, to return to the deeper presence that can lovingly lead them.

Therapy Opens the Door. Practice Helps Keep It Open.

Therapy offers a unique environment where we can slow down, become curious, and experience Self with the support of another person and guided through the process.

But lasting growth happens when we begin carrying those practices into our everyday lives.

Just as physical therapy exercises strengthen the body between appointments, contemplative practices strengthen our connection to Self between psychotherapy sessions.

Ways to Cultivate Self Energy

Here are a few simple practices that can help you stay connected throughout the week.

Begin each day with stillness.

While 30 minutes is ideal, even five or ten minutes of quiet meditation can help you notice when you're operating from fear, urgency, or self-criticism—and gently return to a calmer, more grounded state.

Become curious instead of critical.

When you notice anxiety, perfectionism, anger, or self-doubt arising, try moving to curiosity and asking yourself:

"What part of me is showing up right now?"

Approaching yourself with curiosity rather than judgment creates space for healing.

Pause before reacting.

Taking one slow breath before responding to a difficult situation often creates enough space for Self to lead instead of our automatic reactions.

Reflect through journaling.

Writing helps us notice patterns.

Questions such as:

• What helped me feel most connected today?

• When did I lose connection with myself?

• What was I needing in that moment?

can deepen self-awareness over time.

Spend time in nature.

Many people naturally reconnect with Self while walking in the woods, sitting by the ocean, or simply watching the trees sway in the wind.

Nature has a remarkable way of quieting the nervous system and reminding us that we are part of something much larger than ourselves.

Practice self-compassion.

Perhaps most importantly, remember that no one remains connected to Self all the time.

The goal isn't perfection. It’s about becoming more and more present and compassionate towards your parts. The practice is noticing when we've become blended with fear, shame, or protection and gently finding our way back.

Growth Happens in Community

While individual practices are powerful, there is also something deeply healing about growing alongside others.

Meditating together, sharing experiences, and witnessing one another's journeys often helps us recognize that we are not alone. Community provides encouragement, accountability, and the reminder that returning to Self is a lifelong practice, not a destination.

An Invitation

Over the years, I noticed that many clients wanted a way to continue cultivating Self after they left my office. They wanted more than insight—they wanted ongoing practice.

That realization inspired me to create the Higher Self Expansion Workshop, a six-week experiential journey that combines guided meditation, experiential exercises, reflective journaling, and group learning to help participants strengthen their connection with their Higher Self and integrate Self-led living into everyday life.

Whether you're currently in therapy, have completed therapy, or are simply seeking personal and spiritual growth, my hope is that you'll discover that Self is never far away. It has been within you all along—waiting patiently for you to return.

Kim Burkland-Ward, LICSW, is a Certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapist (Level 3), IFS Approved Clinical Consultant, and Ordained Spiritualist Minister. She specializes in helping individuals cultivate greater healing, self-compassion, and connection to their authentic Self through psychotherapy, spiritual practice, and experiential learning.